Ad Idea:

The Merchant Maven’s idea for using Tiger’s name without getting into legal trouble.

Like many Americans and avid golfers will admit, the Tiger Woods scandal is simply irresistible to us……….. even to themerchantmaven. Tiger Woods wasn’t amused by billboards that People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals planned to put up bearing his face and the slogan, “Too much sex can be a bad thing.”  So I figured I would give PETA a hand. Use my idea for free. I love animals………. Even Tigers

Below is the ad Tiger’s mad about.

This is an Apology:

Did anyone see his live, art – directed “apology” ?  With his mom and two blonde gals sitting cross legged  in the front row, he delivered a clunky, goofy oratory to some friends and colleagues. Bob Cleveland of Boca Raton, claims that the drapes in the room were picked to add a somber, church-like quality to the atmosphere. I did not recognize any of Tiger’s hookers or porn stars in the audience. Maybe they were not invited. He could of at least sent them a text.

With all the fuss folks are making about his indiscretions, one would think he was Lieutenant William Calley during the Vietnam war who massacred a village of innocent people. For crying out loud, the guy is a stud athlete who likes to party on his gigantic yacht and get some action on the side. So what?  He gets paid to play golf and sell a mountain of  Nike apparel. I know it’s not fair to his family and kids, and I feel sorry for Elan, his adorable super model wife. Also from a Christian point of view his actions are obviously immoral. But he is a Buddhist and his personal life is his own business.

Hookers are People Too:

I heard that some of the skanks and hos that Tiger partied with are upset that they were not mentioned in his apology. They are lobbying to have a special press conference where Tiger apologizes to them. Can you picture all 198 of them sitting in a darkly lit conference room at the local Hilton wearing tons of makeup, slinky outfits, high heels and sobbing because of “the pain” they have suffered due to Tiger’s insensitivity.

Near the podium where Tiger’s apology would take place, I envision a nice, skirted six foot table with plenty of exotic hors deuvres, shrimp cocktails and a burly chef with a white hat slicing medium well done roast beef for the excessive perfume wearing attendees.

I had no idea that hookers actually get emotionally involved with the gentlemen that give them $500 and up , presumably before any action takes place. Who knew?

Photo:
The Lounge Area inside Tiger’s Yacht is great for entertaining.

Process This!:

Tiger is barely 30 years old. What were most virile, athletic young men doing in your late twenties and thirties?

What would you have done if you had a $30  Billion line of credit on your Mastercard/Visa. I hear his max on his Amex card is even higher.

One could build a credit card processing empire by simply processing all the transactions that the former Stanford star golfer generates on his cards.

Illustration:
The Tiger Woods Logo

The Brand is His Baby: Obviously his PR consultants and wealth management consultants are worried about the money making machine that is the Tiger brand.

Before he came on the scene, Nike was generating about $1,000,000 in golf apparel and equipment sales. Before the scandal it had surpassed $80,000,000 or something outlandish like that.

Below is the full scoop on the latest furor over Tiger. Peta is using his image and the Tiger ain’t happy.

Another Ad Idea:

I’m not sure if I actually once saw this ad, and I’m simply recalling it…But this would make a cool billboard for Nike.

Maybe now isn’t the best time to flex his muscles. But give it a year, Tiger. You’ll be bigger and better than ever!

ORIGINAL STORY IS BELOW:

New York Post:

Tiger Woods wasn’t amused by billboards that People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals planned to put up bearing his face and the slogan, “Too much sex can be a bad thing.”

Lawyers for the horndog golfer threatened to sue the activists if they used his once-valuable image in their campaign urging owners to neuter their pets. So now PETA says it will feature another famous philanderer, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, with the possible tagline: “Your dog doesn’t have to go to South America to get laid.”

A PETA source told Page Six, “We were contacted by Tiger’s lawyers at IMG who kindly, but firmly, told us we were not authorized to use his image on the billboard, and would we desist. We agreed and have now turned the focus of our campaign to Mark Sanford.”

The ad campaign aims to prevent millions of abandoned cats and dogs from being euthanized at shelters each year. It featured an image of Woods with the words, “Too much sex can be a bad thing . . . for little tigers too. Help keep cats (and dogs) out of trouble: Always spay or neuter!”

But PETA abandoned the plan after the call yesterday from IMG. No figure for possible damages was discussed. But Rob Hassett — who is not involved with Woods, but whose Atlanta firm, Casey Gilson P.C., focuses on entertainment law — said, “It would be a violation of his publicity rights to use his image without his consent. The damages would be a jury decision. But I’d sue for at least $5 million.”

Now PETA intends to poke fun instead at Sanford, who flew to Buenos Aires last year to be with hot tamale Maria Belen Chapur when he claimed he was hiking the Appalachian Trail.

Last Updated: 3:44 AM, February 26, 2010

Posted: 12:08 AM, February 26, 2010

Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/tiger_growl_chases_off_peta_OMIukcqSDEjMDylxWsDPdP#ixzz0gegXvkxp

http://www.peta.org/

Fort Lauderdale, FL (PRWEB) February 8, 2010

Direct Technology Innovations (DTI) has been a proven leader within the credit card processing niche since 2001. DTI’s client roster includes some of the nation’s top brands including Subway, Taco Bell, City Mattress, GO Airport Shuttles, Gray Line and over 5,000 others. DTI has created and implemented many innovative merchant programs, including Click to Go Online Ordering ® which was developed to cater to small and medium sized restaurants, as well as national chains and franchises. Other successful programs include the Swipe N Go ® Program and Mobile Ticketing Solutions. ®

To add a little spice to its corporate branding and to increase interest in its merchant programs, DTI is offering a free Caribbean cruise to any qualified merchant that signs up with their processing services. According to DTI’s Director of Strategic Alliances, Jordi De Joseph: “ We have developed a special landing page :http://www.directtec.com/offer.php

The new landing page entices visitors to fill out a simple merchant application and offers a free cruise (valued at $1,000) once they have processed for a period of three months.” The landing page is being promoted on Google Adwords as well as Yahoo.com

Michael Thomas Kirner, DTI’s Director of Marketing says the free cruise offer will generate more web traffic and add an element of fun to the often conservative credit card industry. “ If a merchant is seeking a solid, proven and dependable merchant card program they are invariably presented with thousands of online choices. The free cruise is just a simple, palpable benefit to choosing DTI over the competition.”

“DTI continues to provide an arsenal of credit card processing services and first-class customer service. With this new free cruise offer, we’re giving merchants an unexpected benefit of sending their processing business to us,” said Michael Slominski, DTI vice president, Portfolio Management.

For more information on DTI and how your business can receive a FREE Caribbean cruise, please contact Jordi De Joseph at 800.724.7000 ext. 459 or send an email to jordi@directtec.com

The landing page featuring the special offer can be accessed by clicking this url:

http://www.directtec.com/offer.php

About DTI

DTI, a Frontstream Company, was founded in 2001, and operates in all 50 states with regional offices in Fort Lauderdale, Nashville, Dallas and Seattle. DTI has over 90 employees and currently handles an annual processing volume of $2.7 billion. DTI offers a full range of merchant services including Debit Card Processing, Credit Card Processing, EBT Services, Electronic Check Verification, Gift/Loyalty Cards, POS Software integration (all major brands), Internet Processing, Mail/Telephone Orders, Virtual Terminals, Telesales/Call Center Integration, Free Standing Terminal and Wireless Terminal Deployment, Mobile Ticketing Solutions®, Kiosk Integration, Click To Go ® online ordering, Video Surveillance, and Credit Card Terminal Leasing & Rental Programs

Story by: The Merchant Maven

For the first time in a long time, I was eager to watch Larry King Live last night at            9:00 p.m.  sharp.  Jose Canseco, the former MLB slugger  with gigantic biceps who once wrote a tell all book about steroid use was going to address the recent media frenzy about Mark McGwire, another former MLB player with even more impressive and gigantic biceps.

Apparently Mark wants a job as a batting coach with a MLB team and he felt he needed to come clean. He now openly admits to having used steroids – something which he and several other athletes have denied in recent years.  He even openly wept as he confessed.

A couple of years back, Jose Canseco was the only MLB  big enough of a man to admit the he and MANY others used the illegal drugs. Sometimes he would inject steroids into the buttocks of his buddies and vica versa.  I would have openly wept if someone did that to me…..it sounds gross and desperate, but they did it!

FLASHBACK IN TIME:I used to live in San Francisco for many years. One night I was at Harry Denton’s , a bar near Fisherman’s Wharf and I saw Jose Canseco sitting by himself on a bar stool.

I’m not entirely sure how many people recognized him, but I did. He is a very very large human being. He must be about 6′ 5″ tall.  I’m a pretty stocky 5′ 9″ former weightlifter, high school football player type. I looked like a gaunt, diminuitive professional horse jockey next to Jose. His arms are as large as my waist.

Jose just sat in the same spot and was staring blankly into space. He was not talking.  He was not moving. He was just staring. I’m not sure how long I was staring at him staring…but he was just sitting there staring . He was not even looking at the band who was playing and he was not engaging anyone in conversation. I figure maybe he would have some blonde Carry Prejean types hanging with him. I did not see them. Maybe he was sitting there waiting for them?

It looked like he was frozen in the same position for 1/2 an hour.  I never saw him move or speak. Then I needed to go to the restroom. When I returned he was gone. No trace of Jose Canseco or Carry Prejean types.

That night at Harry Denton’s was a good night,  however.  I did meet a gal name Josie Portiz – Portillo, about 22 years old from Mexico. I wonder what happened to her?  She was adorable and I was surprised she dug me.  What ever happened to you, Josie?  Send me a note!

Back to real time:
At 8:45 p.m, I hurriedly walked the dog, purchased a six pack of Blue Moon and used my ATM Debit card to purchase two double decker Burritos at Taco Bell.  If you’re wondering, the merchant maven must a bachelor…you are correct.  But I’m looking!

I arrived home at 9:01 p.m. “  Dammit, I’m late ” I said to my dog, whose name is Tiberius, Claudius, Drusus, Nero, Germanicus…a name much too long to say , so I usually call him “Junior”.

I was pissed because I did not want to miss anything about this historic interview.

As soon as I turned on tv, there was Larry King, with his usually goofy suspenders, which are his trademark. It’s a good, goofy trademark, however. And as a marketing guy, I think it’s smart to brand yourself. I’m thinking of changing my profile picture with me in suspenders.

The first thing Larry said was “Jose Canseco has cancelled the interview tonight” He read a brief statement by Jose which basically said, ” I am tired of defending myself and I had somewhat of a nervous breakdown.” Larry graciously said: ” It’s ok Jose, I understand. Please come back some other night- you are always welcome! ”

I don’t know about you, but I’m highly suspicious.  One would surmize that this was a great moment of clarity and redemption for Mr. Canseco?  The media and  some of his buttocks injecting baseball contemporaries  raked him through the coals. Now, it looks like he’s the one with the most integrity. Not unlike Shakespeare’s Hamlet, I’m puzzled a bit. …..something smells afoul in Denmark.

I think Mark McGwire placed a phone call to Jose, whom he played with while they both batted for Oakland  ( I think) , and asked him not to speak more on the issue.

Imagine This:

The phone call ( As I imagine it ) would have possibly contained the following dialogue:

Mark McGwire:       ” Hey, Jose, Mark McGuire here, how are you?”

Jose Canseco: ” Fine, dude. times are tough, man. I don’t really get sponsors anymore. My third wife left me with nothing and I still haven’t been paid by my tell all book publisher.”

Mark McGwiree:       ” Listen, man….you and me go wayyyy back. Remember when we used to inject each other in the bathroom stalls at Harry Denton’s?  “  We had some good times, man.

Jose Canseco: ” That was a long time ago, man… I never liked being injected at Harry Denton’s.  It made me clam up and just sit and stare.

…………….SO .what’s up, big dawg?? ?

Mark McGwire: ” Look, I hear you’re going on Larry King. I’m asking you to please not do that….for old time’s sake.”    There is a great job for me as a baseball batting coach and

this will f##!!@@ the whole thing up.” There will be something in it for you, too……I promise.”

Jose Canseco:    ” Can you be more specific”

Mark McGwire:  ” $500,000 – how does that sound?”

Jose Canseco:  “$750,000 sounds better.”

Mark McGwire:  ” done, my brother.”

Following this conversation there was  an unexpected bank deposit made in Jose’s bank account. I’ll bet $750,000 shut him up.

Or maybe Mark promised Jose an assistant coaching job?

I purposely have not read ANY news or articles on this matter , but will do so now. I’m wondering if I’m thinking the same thing others are?

The Merchant Maven

______________________________________________________________

After writing the article above, I did a Google search on Jose and here’s the first story that popped up.

Some of this I did not know about.

__________________________________________________________________

By Reid Cherner & Tom Weir

Canseco, citing “breakdown,” bails on Larry King

By posting a comment, you affirm that you are 13 years of age or older.

The year was 1993: Back during the Jurassic period of corporate communications and branding. Google’s CEO and Founder Sergy Bryn and the other really, really smart guy from Russia were going out with plump communist co -eds and cheerleaders from Leningrad Senior High.

I was the Director of Marketing for a large shopping center owned and operated by the Macerich Company. Macerich was and still is a prominent REIT and owns about 70 malls in the United States.

We received a COMPANY  MEMORANDUM ( remember those?) from our VP of Marketing. The subject was email. ” Email, I bellowed synically?  What the heck is email? “

The memorandum was sent to all Marketing Directors and we were told that email was the wave of the future. Things would be different now. We would become modern communicators. Email would make our lives easier. We would become more efficient.

“Yeah, right. I said to myself. Sounds like another pain in the neck software nonsense I have to learn !”

Grudingly I began to use email communications. My regional director would call me twice a week and ask: “Did you get my email?   I would confidently tell her : ” I only check my email on Fridays.”

Months passed and I grew to like email. I even began to love email and to delight in hearing “You’ve Got Mail.”  ( That was kinda goofy, huh?)

I was proud to feature my email address on my business card. I was hip. I was cool. I was modern. I sent several emails just for the heck of it to John Butler, of Butler, Shine and Stern in Sausalito. Once I told him a design was rejected and he got mad at me for using email….But I was happy becaude I knew how to use email!

I think one of the first people to send me emails regularly was Marty Rubino, the then publisher of the Marin Independent Journal. We would send emails reminding each other what time our golf tee time was and where we would meet for Sushi lunch.

One day a borderline cantakerous  Senior Vp  from corporate paid a visit to our shopping center. He came with the slightly less cantakerous VP of Development. I showed him some of my projects which I often would post on my wall. Marketing people like to post their projects on the wall. It’s kindof, sortof  like putting photos or drawings on your  refrigerator  when you were a  little dorky snot nosed kid.

I told our borderline cantankerous Senior VPs about how we are using email to communicate and that it makes our lives easier and more efficient. I told them how modern and relevant it was.

“Email?!!!” he bellowed.

That’s a big waste of time and not a productive way to do business.”  –   Pick up the phone and talk to people.”

He was not a fan of email. He actually seemed irritated. In fact, he strongly advised me to spend my time more wisely.

One uneventful month passed. I did not use or check email.  Email was not a good thing. I was a team player and did as I was told.

That very summer, our company attended a large conference in San Diego California. It was sponsored by the International Council of Shopping Centers. We mingled with shopping center developers, IT people, Creative People and consultants from all over the world. It was a fabulous event. We attended seminars, luncheons and happy hours. We had delicious rubber chicken dinners served with soft carrots and green peas.

Guess what everyone was raving about at the conference ? Emails. Emails. Emails. We attended a two hour presentation on how to capitalize on email communications and how to use it to benefit  our company.  We were told to  foster and nurture the use email  because we are modern communicators. We  were told to embrace email because it enables us to better promote our company’s brand. We  were told to use email because all of the top brands in the world use email. My marketing agency headed by Leon Altman of Altman Communications concured and insisted that email and the internet are the future!

The aforementioned Senior VP  who had admonished me came to me during a luncheon and looked at me quite sheepishly. He looked like he had devoured a volery of crows.

” I was wrong about email,” he said . ………….. ” We must  embrace new forms of communications.”

Today we are in the year 2010.  17 years later. One and a half decades have come and gone.  Times have changed dramatically.  We no longer receive company memorandums on letterhead. Google’s, Sergey Bryn and the other really, really smart Russian guy are smarter than ever  Billionaires. We conduct Google searches all day long, we Twitter, we check Gmail, we blog about things that mean something to us, we are online journalists even though we can’t write worth sh#!!!. We use Web 2.0 vehicles that include Linkedin, Google Adwords, Facebook and Utube.

Why do we use all of these new forms of communciation?

We use them  because we are modern communicators. We embrace them because it enables us to better promote our company’s brand. We use them because all of the top brands in the world do: American Idol, CNN, Larry King, Mercedes Benz, Google, Armani, BMW, Barack Obama. And as he did in 1993,   Leon Altman of Altman Communications concurs that these new communications tools are the future!

The Merchant Maven

So sorry to  begin the New Year by offending all of you Facebook Friends who like this dreadful band.  Visually, they look kinda cool and hip.

In fact, I would not object to being cool and hip like them.  I would enjoy being cool and hip like them. I bet they go to cool and hip parties filled with modern people.

They look like they would hang out at one of the “W” hotel lounges and sip Cosmopolitans made with expensive Vodka.

Their videos are well produced and designed – and I like the shapely women dancers……….But the stuff these people call music?

Here’a a taste of their lyrics:

They say I’m really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can’t touch it,
If you touch it I’ma start some drama,
You don’t want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don’t pull on my hand boy,
You ain’t my man, boy,
I’m just tryn’a dance boy,
And move my hump.

How is it possible that the inane, absurd, uninteresting, unmemorable, creepy, pedestrian,  awful, foul,  music from this band is popular on this planet?

Can someone explain this to me?

People enjoy listening to them?

It’s not even music. It’s an annoyance.

It’s  barfable. I was at a party yesterday and left when I heard one of their songs.
If I hear that stupid song “Tonight’s gonna be a good night” one more Friggin time I’m gonna explode.

I used to take aerobic classes at Mission Bay’s Club house in Boca Raton Florida. My instructor was a feisty, cute Russian gal named Ilona. She had more energy  than anyone I have ever seen in my life.  She used to torture me by playing this song during every one of her session. Once I raised my hand during class and she called on me . I politely asked her to please never play that song again.  She laughed, but agreed.  I hate that song.

I think Engelbert Humperdink or Gilbert O Sullivan or The DeFranco Family or Bobby Sherman or the Brady Bunch singing “It’s Time to Change” is  300% better than what these un-talented  abberations call music. I even prefer Heino over them.

Why can’t bands write lyrics like Neal Diamond used to?

“Hello Again, Hello.

It’s good to need you so.

I think about you every night.

When I’m here alone.

And you’re there at home.

Hello.”

The Merchant Maven

The Merchant Maven is #1 in the ENTIRE GOOGLE WORLD for the image keywords  “credit card machine.”

Go to Google and go to ‘Google Image search on top left”

Type in “credit card machine” The Merchant Maven is #1! Not bad out of 7,900,000 results, huh?

I’ve told a few people in my office and no one seems overly impressed. Why are they not impressed?

However, New York Based SEO expert Leon Altman said simply:” You don’t think being #1 out of almost 8,000,000  images helps your SEO? Absolutely it does!”

Below is the url to copy and paste or click on it.

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=credit+card+machine&gbv=2&aq=f&oq=&aqi=g1

“

As a Marketing Director in charge of special events for many years, I know all about guest lists, name tags,  table settings and even party crashers.

In fact, a former colleague of mine, Heide van Nellen of Frank Howard Allen Realtors (FHA)  fame and I  – used to work together in planning the FHA Annual Top Producers Dinners!  (All right, Heide did  all the work. I worked hard on sampling the free Pinot Grigio and shrimp and took credit if the party was a success.)

The FHA top producer dinner event was and still is quite fabulous. Despite my absence. Approximately 100 top earning Realtors from Marin County’s oldest and most respectable Real Estate Firm are invited to bring a guest and enjoy a lavish meal, complimentary California wine and dancing at Marin Country Club in Novato, California.

If you are really a top, top, top producer you get to sit next to or near the President of the company.

As I recall, we didn’t really require a security check at these dinners, but since all the tables had elegant, hand made name tags and the seating arrangements were carefully planned, there is just no way there could have been a security breach of ANY kind. Heide would have ejected anyone who would dare to do so.

Heide van Nellen

So how the heck does this happen at the White House? Maybe they need name tags? Maybe they need Heide van Nellen.? No human alive has ever crashed one of her parties.

I predict some major top level  White House “heads will roll!”

The Merchant Maven

————————————————————-

Full Story Below with Video:

As the White House’s blood boiled, the Virginia couple that crashed last week’s state dinner told their tale Tuesday morning on the TODAY Show.

Serial fame seekers Tareq and Michaele Salahi told Matt Lauer that they are cooperating with the Secret Service’s internal review, but Tareq Salahi also added, “I can tell you we did not party-crash the White House.”

The couple said they were invited to the state dinner, but would not say who offered the invite. They said they will offer up more information to the TODAY Show after the Secret Service review.

“Our lives have been destroyed,” Michaele Salahi said. “Everything we’ve worked for. For me, 44 years, just destroyed.”

They said they have e-mails that prove their innocence in the matter. But once again, they refused to share any details of said e-mails.

The e-mails they’re referring to could be the ones The Washington Post said the couple exchanged with a member of the Defense Department before the state dinner. The Post reported that the couple sent e-mails to Michele S. Jones, special assistant to the secretary of defense, asking her help to get them into the event. Jones, however, denies that she gave them the OK.

“I did not state at any time, or imply that I had tickets for ANY portion of the evening’s events,” Jones said in a statement. “I specifically stated that they did not have tickets and in fact that I did not have the authority to authorize attendance, admittance or access to any part of the evening’s activities. Even though I informed them of this, they still decided to come.”

The whole incident has the president fuming. White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said both President Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, were angry that two uninvited people were able to get into a state dinner. Interviewed Tuesday on MSNBC, Gibbs said “it’s safe to say he was angry. Michelle was angry.”

Gibbs told the TODAY Show that despite the couple’s claims that they didn’t crash the state dinner, there was no way the incident could be called a misunderstanding.

“This wasn’t a misunderstanding,” Gibbs said. “You don’t show up at the White House as a misunderstanding.”

Asked by Lauer if they had been mischaracterized through the media, Tareq Salahi said, “No question … It’s been devastating what’s happened to Michaele and I … Our lives have really been destroyed.”

“We were invited, not crashers, and there isn’t anyone who would have the audacity or the poor behavior to do that,” Michaele Salahi said. “No one would do that, and certainly not us.”

Tareq Salahi said that the couple has been “very candid” with the Secret Service and said “we have turned over documentation to

them.”

While the Salahis chatted on national TV, it’s Homeland Security who wants to hear from them again Thursday morning.

The House Committee on Homeland Security will invite testimony from the Salahis, as well as U.S. Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan, at a 10 a.m. hearing Thursday, according to the committee chair, Rep. Bennie Thompson, D-MS.

The keyword, Mr. and Mrs. Salahi, is “invite.”

“My confidence in the management of the Secret Service hangs in the balance,” Thompson said.

Yikes.

“The intent of this Administration may be openness and transparency, but a security breakdown that allowed anyone who looked the part to walk off the street into a State Dinner is a slap in the face to the Secret Service employees who put their lives on the line to protect our form of government and its leaders,” he added.

So the Salahis have identified a security problem and prompted Homeland Security to fix it. Shouldn’t we be thanking them?

The Secret Service declined to comment on whether the director would testify on Thursday.

Meanwhile, it appears last week’s White House state dinner wasn’t the first time the couple and President Obama attended the same function.

Muriel Cooper of the Congressional Black Caucus confirmed a report that the Salahis were escorted out of the CBC Annual Fundraising Dinner Sept. 26 at the Washington Convention Center — an event where Obama gave a speech. But before the president addressed the crowd, a CBC staff member noticed that the couple were seated at a table they were not registered to be sitting at during a VIP reception.

Unlike the Secret Service, the CBC’s security detail escorted the couple out of the event without incident. They were there for about 45 minutes before getting the boot.

The Salahis denied that they were kicked out of that dinner, saying they attended on behalf of a law group.

ENJOY the UTUBE VIDEO BELOW:

I’m not a fan of Dancing with the Stars

As a marketing person, however, I am fascinated by television ratings, analytics, viewership and what keeps nearly 20 million Americans glued to their tv sets. Around 19.2 million people tuned in to ABC to see Donny Osmond take home the mirror ball trophy, the smallest audience for the show’s finale since its inaugural season .

I could retire now if I had that audience!

Dancing with the Star’s performance episodes this season averaged around 17.1 million viewers, 10 percent lower than last season and 15 percent than the one before that. The results show fared even more miserably.

According to industry experts, this finale wasn’t a bad show at all. After all, comeback-ing diva Whitney Houston performed back to back tracks, including “I Wanna Dance with Somebody”              ( I absolutely loathe that song! ) while five couples took the dance floor, including fan favorites Mark Ballas, Lacey Schwimmer, Cheryl Burke, and Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

Sixteen couples started off the battle on Dancing with the Stars, until the field was narrowed down to the final three, and eventually one – showbiz legend Donny Osmond. The ratings this season, however, had not been promising.

The trend is noteworthy, considering that throughout Dancing with the Stars’ eight seasons, no other show had been capable of usurping its hold on the ratings leader board, except juggernaut American Idol on Fox.

How to Improve Dancing With the Stars:

Barack , Sarah and Simon Cowell

I am a fan of American Idol – because American Idol started it all. Simon Cowell was the very first, smug, condescending, blatantly blunt, black t- shirt wearing, Englishman to impudently pass judgement on America’s aspiring vocal talent. he’s kindof a weenie sometimes, but he’s a likeable weenie.

Actually, I think he is just fabulous. Simon could change the show by just showing up. And imagine if Barack Obama and Sarah Palin teamed up to showcase their dancing abilities? How cool would that be?

This would be the highest rated show in the history of the world.

Peace Out

The Merchant Maven

Thanks for visiting my favorite blog entry!  Sarah has already enjoyed over 35,000 views since I first posted it in August. Fans are spending more than 1.5 minutes gazing at her and reading this story.

The Merchant Maven has been fascinated by the former governor since the first day she appeared on stage with John McCain.  She is an unmitigated treat for the eyes, indeed.

It’s a shame we can’t invent a “Sarah Palin Credit Card Machine”  That would really wake up the sometimes  predictable processing industry! I’ve heard of Process Pink and Patriot Processing!  How about Sarah Palin Processing services…..A portion of proceeds will go to getting this great looking gal a higher education.

Her appeal to the Conservative Right is understandable.  She has some good old fashion family values and I personally like candidates that mix religion with politics. ………Especially if its her religion.

Just don’t ask her too many difficult questions about foreign policy or  what the difference is between Austria and Australia.  The interview she did with Katie Couric was an irrefutable disaster.  It clearly showed that this person is simply not well read enough or polished enough to be considered a viable candidate for President or Vice – President. Can you image her calling her hubby “the first dude”. ?

Furthermore, her elocution skills, which are undeniably folksy, charming and engaging……. are egregiously lacking and would make the United States the butt of more jokes since Dan Quayle spelled “Potato”  ( or is it Potatoe?) incorrectly.

In conclusion -  the article below confirms my worst fears: Sarah  Palin is hot, and I love her so!

The Merchant Maven

Sarah Palin’s Sex Appeal Is Grist for ‘Political’ Debate on MSNBC

Recently an MSNBC show held a political debate Monday on former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s sex appeal.

The show’s anchor, Donny Deutsch, stated his belief that there is national interest in Palin because “we’ve never seen a woman in power who looks like this and has this appeal.”

“The reason we have a fascination with Sarah Palin — men and women — this is the first woman in power that has sexual appeal, and people don’t know what to do with it,” he said. “That’s why people are fascinated with her. Everything else is secondary. OK, beat me up.”

“I’ve already beat him up in a phone conversation this morning,” said his co-anchor, Tamron Hall.

MSNBC’s Norah O’Donnell — via satellite from Alaska — was on Deutsch’s side: “I think you are absolutely right, and I totally agree with you.”
“She’s young, she’s gorgeous, she has five children and she doesn’t take advice from anyone, and she got a different style,” O’Donnell continued. “So I think that’s part of the fascination with her,”

Back in the studio, Hall took Deutsch and O’Donnell to task by saying, “If it were as simple as being attractive, then so many others would have accomplished what she has. And you can say you disagree with her policy, whatever, but to minimize her to hotness is insane.”
Deutsch interrupted Hall: “You can use the word ‘hotness.’ ”
Hall: “You used the word ‘hotness’ in another conversation.”
Deutsch: “Off-camera I used ‘hotness.’ ”
Hall laughed.
Well, at least Donny was off-camera when he called the former vice presidential candidate “hot.”
It seems to me that this whole debate was set up in advance (talk of previous, off-camera conversations) and Hall was merely playing her assigned role to counter Deutsch’s demeaning agenda.

When Hall playfully tapped Deutsch on the shoulder or laughed at his admission that he was really talking about Palin being hot, she appeared not to be genuinely offended by his remarks but playing to the audience.
Deutsch seemed determined to make his opinion on Palin a political topic: “What I’m saying is, this is a new definition of female power we have never seen before. Men and women are learning how to process it. They are fascinated. Once they get past that, she will be nothing but a media power; she will never be a political figure.”

Radio host Shannyn Moore, who did not chime in until prompted at the end by Deutsch, said, “A lot of her supporters wear buttons here saying ‘hottest governor, coldest state,’ they totally have used it. I think it actually sets us back a little bit.”

“That doesn’t make it right,” Hall responded.

To read the whole article go to to the link below:

http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/07/28/sarah-palins-sex-appeal-is-grist-for-political-debate-on-msnb/

Here’s what happened in a nutshell:

French striker Henry handled the ball illegally with his arm and his hand which resulted in a goal advancing France to the World Cup in South Africa next year. Ireland will not be making the trip because they needed one point. The Irish National Team will have to watch the single most important summer of soccer ( which only comes around every 4 years) from their living rooms and pubs instead of being on the pitch and competing.

Even long after the game was over, FIFA officials should have the power to at least “nullify” a game and have it replayed if there is such a complete breach of honesty as there was in this game.

This is completely scandalous! Just as bad as Maradonna’s “Hand of God” some years ago.

Giovanni Trapattoni refused to label Thierry Henry a cheat despite the France captain admitting to the Republic of Ireland’s players that he had handled the ball in the build-up to the goal that won the World Cup play-off for his team. The manager, however, admitted that Fifa’s fair play campaign had been damaged on a night when conspiracy theory and controversy raged.

“It was ridiculous really and unfortunately it’s what we thought was going to happen,” said the Ireland defender Richard Dunne. “The World Cup is run by people who want to decide who gets there. Big teams get big decisions. The referee says he was 100% certain that Henry didn’t handball it but Henry said [to me] that he did.

“He said that he handballed it but he didn’t mean it and we deserved to win. It is there for all to see but that’s not going to change anything. It’s not a difficult one to see. The linesman was in line with it. We deserved to win. We could have got a couple of goals but theirs knocked the stuffing out of us.”

Fifa had sparked uproar in Ireland by announcing in late September that the play-off draw would be seeded. “With the draw Fifa wanted France and Portugal to go through and that’s what happened,” Liam Brady, the assistant manager, said. “You saw the goal and that’s enough said. It’s a bad day for football. When it comes to the crunch, the big teams always seem to go through.”

Henry handled twice after appearing to be in an offside position at the free-kick that led to the incident from which he squared for William Gallas to score France’s extra-time goal, which gave them a 2-1 aggregate win and safe passage to the finals in South Africa next summer. Trapattoni was asked whether he felt cheated. “I don’t wish to speak these words,” he said. “You saw the game. All of Europe saw the situation. For sure, in these two games, we deserved to go to South Africa but the result is different. I want to make it clear that it’s not Henry’s fault.

“I prefer that we’d have gone out on penalties and I am sad because the referee had time to ask the linesman and also to ask Henry. He should have done that and I am sure Henry would have confirmed that he had handled. It wouldn’t be the first time that a referee asks a player whether it was or it wasn’t. It wouldn’t have been out of place to ask. This is not good for fair play. I have been to schools many times to talk about fair play. I tell the young children that it’s so important in life. This is a bitter evening for us.”

Trapattoni confronted the Swedish referee, Martin Hansson, on the pitch at full-time. “I said to him that I know many Swedish people but it’s possible to make a great mistake.”

Henry was hardly contrite afterwards. “I am not the ref,” he said. “The ball hit my hand and, I will be honest, the ball hit my hand. It was a handball.

“What did I say to Richard Dunne? I told him. And he told me the same, you are not the ref. That’s why the Irish players didn’t run to me, they ran to the ref. You can clearly see the opportunity. [Sébastien] Squillaci went to jump with two Irish players and then the next thing I know, the ball hit my arm, I played it, and the ref allowed it. It could have been better to do it in another way but like I said, I am not the ref.”

Talk of cheating dominated the post-match talk within the Ireland dressing room. “We got robbed, you can tell by the boys’ reaction that it hit his hand blatantly,” said the defender Sean St Ledger. “We feel cheated – we were the better team over the two legs, every football fan in the stadium will say we were the better team tonight. It’s cost a lot of us our dreams – as a boy I used to dream of playing in the World Cup, and now I’m not.

“He’s said it hit his hand accidentally but, if you look at it, you can see it hits his hand twice. I’m not sure Henry’s reputation has been tarnished. It doesn’t look great but he’s got his team to the World Cup finals. If it had been one of our team, we’d have probably done the same.”

The striker Kevin Doyle added: “I don’t know about the ref not seeing it but the linesman had as good a view as anyone and him not seeing it is embarrassing. It’s instinctive and, if you can get away with it … I’m sure he was expecting the free-kick to be given and I can’t believe it’s not been caught.”

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