91.9% Employed
Day 176: Where’s My Job, Barack?
Most people cringe as they read the headlines and watch CNN, CNBC and the countless other sources for information. We have reached 8.1% unemployment they cry. What’s happening to this world they lament……..
We are crumbling ! We are laying off! We are all doomed!
We’re heading towards double-digit unemployment.
When is Barack Obama – who has been at his job for about 176 days – gonna find me a job?
Math Quiz
Please stop with all this (expletive) negativity. Can’t we talk about that segment of our population that does have a job? If you can do math…subtract 8.1 from 100. What number do you get? Scroll down for the answer…………
Remember in college or high school when you got your examination back from your Algebra teacher and the number “90″ was written in red on the front. Remember how delighted you were! Anything above 90 % is an A. Even an 88 % or a 82% was enough to make me start the weekend early. When I attended the University of Florida where I was a Pike, I would go out and buy a six pack (cash only, I had no credit cards) of Michelob Lite, instead of Miller Lite, because after all, this was a special occasion!
America at Work
The Merchant Maven has a full time job when he’s not crusading for the best credit card processing deals. The 12 other people he works with on a daily basis have a job. Krissy has a job. Aaron has a job. Mike S and Mike K have jobs. Bob has a job. Robin has a job. Sarah, Lil,Jerry, Steve, Denise. We all have jobs and we are thankful indeed. My brother in law in Atlanta has a good full time job as an engineer. There’s a guy right outside of our building riding a bicycle up and down the parking lot wearing a blue jacket with the words “security” on it. He has a job. Noreen A. Smith, President of Frank Howard Realtors in Novato, CA has a job. She’s been with them for nearly two decades! Why does the media not focus on some of these success stories? Katie Regan, a renowned Nurse Practioner in California has a job. Roger Knight, the Carpenter Knight in Shining Armor has a job…………
I Was Born a Ramblin’ Man
(I apologize profusely for rambling on.)….but I’m trying to make up for the news media’s obsession for negativity……………..
That awful, overly dramatic newswoman with a constant scowl and far too much eyeliner who constantly bellows: “Where’s Kayleeeeeeeeee?” has a job.
Recently, I was flipping channels on TV and I stumbled upon her again. I could swear that she was now screaming a new name: Where’s Hayleeeeeeeeee?” I must of just imagined that.
My sister in Berlin is gamefully employed with Bayer, one of the world’s largest pharmaceutical companies. My cousin, who is rich ( and proportionately arrogant) has a succefull architecture business in California. The four people who are the judges on American Idol have a job. Remember, before they had 3 judges, so they hired another one. …….Kurt Warner, NFL quarterback has a job (at least for two more years)……….Ben Bernanke, the Chairman of the Fed has a job – whoah what a tough job, indeed! Sarah Palin had a pretty good job until she quit last week.
Chili Bun
Frank Peter Doyle, my U.F. fraternity friend who lives in Washington D.C. has a thriving couple of Greek Delis named the Port of Piraeus. He has a job. His staff of ten employees have a job.
The thousands of people in N.W. Washington D.C. who buy his fabulous lunches and ”to go” Spanakopita trays, with their ATM cards and their credit cards must have jobs……why else would they go to his deli? Oh, that reminds me………..The Merchant Maven would like to suggest a new cost saving menu item for the Port of Piraeus. It’s called the “The Chili Bun”. It’s just a plain hot dog bun with chili on top …..Easy to make and available for just $3.00 a piece. Not very Greek, but hey, sprinkle some feta cheese on it and charge 50 cents extra. It would be great to get a photo of our President stuffing one in his mouth.
http://www.portofp.com/Default.asp
Howie Long and those other former football players with giant shoulders and those tight fitting Italian suits (why are there four guys talking about the games?…BEFORE and AFTER the game? Couldn’t they get by with just two guys? I hear there’s a rumor that they are hiring two more former NFL football players…Then it will be six guys in tight fitting Italian suits who have jobs talking before and after the games!
Good Evening, I’m Anderson Cooper and I Have a Job.
I promise, I’ll stop now, because it’s time to get to the punchline:
“Attention CNN! Many Americans have jobs……91.9 % to be exact!”
The Merchant Maven would like to propose a special CNN report featuring Anderson Cooper.
Here’s a FREE idea for you, CNN:
One Way to Create
Job Security.
In conclusion, if your small or medium sized business that contributes to this wondrous
91.9 % wants to save money on a sometimes overlooked part of your business expense…..Credit Card Processing Transaction Fees – then think about making a switch.
Banks such as Bank of America and other big companies that process credit cards have many hidden fees and don’t offer personalized service, like DTI, for instance. Sometimes these smaller companies will even give you a free credit card terminal. Ask what kind of deal they can make for you.
Some companies will analyze an entire month or two of your credit card processing and let you know if they can save you money on your transaction fees. Hey, I would check it out.
Saving money for your company will make your boss happy and could give you job security!
Check these 3 companies for Credit Card Processing:
http://www.salesynergy.net/about.html
http://www.frontstreampayments.com/
